Sleep, Sleep, Sleep!

I would consider myself one of the most blessed mothers in the world!  My baby likes to sleep!  :)  It didn't start out that way...I'll tell you how we got there.

Kyle was nursing about every one to two hours at the beginning and was sleeping about 4-6 hour chunks at night.  I was sleeping on the couch (in the recliner chair) because of my c-section recovery.  It was too hard to get in and out of bed, so I pretty much lived on the couch for the first month or so.  Kyle did not want to be put down for the first month, he wanted to be held all the time.  So, out of respect and support for me, my darling husband also slept on the couch, and each night we took turns holding Kyle for the night while we slept.  He liked to sleep on our chest all curled up in a little ball.

The problem was that Kyle had his awake hours in the evening, and we couldn't seem to get him to sleep until about 1:00AM every night.  This was exhausting for all of us!  All I wanted was some good rest!  I prayed every night for just one good night of sleep!  I was up nursing with him around the clock, and I was still trying to recover from the surgery.  I just needed a break to rest and sleep!  (Yeah, right...nursing moms don't get to rest...they work 24/7!)  The 2008 Beijing Olympics were playing when Kyle was born, so Josh and I would stay up watching the Olympics on TV while we tried to get Kyle to wind down for the night (on the couch, of course, lol).

So then I came across a sleep book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution.  I figured it was worth reading if it could help us all get some sleep.  :)  There were a couple things that stood out for me in this book that I think made a great deal of difference in Kyle's sleep habits.  These points from page 103 of her book stood out to me like flashing lights!

"Many people put their babies to bed much too late, often hoping that if baby is "really tired" he will sleep better.  This often backfires because baby becomes overtired and chronically sleep deprived.

A bay's biological clock is preset for an early bedtime. When parents work with that time, a baby falls asleep more easily and stays asleep more peacefully.  Most babies are primed to go to sleep for the night as early as 6:30 or 7:00 PM.  It is helpful if you establish your baby's bedtime and plan for it by beginning your pre-bed routine an hour before, if at all possible.

I often hear about how babies and young children have a "meltdown" period at the end of the day, when they get fussy, whiny, and out of sorts.  I now suspect that it's simply a sign of overtired children longing for sleep."  (page 103)

 One day it just clicked in my head.  I realized that maybe we were waiting until Kyle was too sleepy to try to put him down!  Maybe he was so overtired that it took us until 1:00 AM to get him to finally fall asleep!  So, I decided to really pay attention to Kyle and see when he was showing signs of being tired.  (Obviously any signs he was giving, were so subtle that we weren't even noticing!)

Here are a few signs of fatigue that your baby may demonstrate (these are from the book): decreasing activity, quieting down, losing interest in people and toys, rubbing eyes, looking "glazed", fussing, yawning, lying down on the floor or on a chair, caressing a lovey or asking for a pacifier, a bottle, or to nurse.  She then talks about how important the timing is too.  (I'm just paraphrasing here.)  If you wait until your baby is exhibiting signs of being tired, and then start the whole night time routine...by the time you are all ready for bed...they are wide awake again.  So, I realized that I needed to pay closer attention to Kyle and his signs of being tired, so that I could start a bed time routine early enough to get him down before he was too tired.

I was also concerned that if I got him down too early that he would be wide awake in the middle of the night, or really early in the morning.  I realized from this book that this is not the case (who knew?!).

"For babies, early to bed does not mean early to rise!  Most babies sleep better and longer with an earlier bedtime.  Many parent are afraid to put their baby to bed so early, thinking that they will then face a 5AM wake-up call.  Or they may come home from work and want to keep baby up late to play.  But keeping your little one up too late backfires, and he becomes overtired, distressed, and too wound up to settle down, and more often, a late night is the one followed by that early morning awakening." ( page 103-104)

I started watching Kyle very closely, after reading this information.  What do you know...he was showing signs of being tired way earlier than I would have even imagined!  He was wanting to go to bed around 7:00PM!  So, I gave it a shot...I put him down right away...and what do you know...he actually went to sleep!  It was probably the best nights rest we had gotten thus far, to our amazement.  (Which is still not saying too much, because we were still up to nurse during the night.)  But, he did sleep longer in the morning hours!

He was also letting us put him down in the co-sleeper at night (this was around one month old), which was a step in the right direction.  He did sleep in bed with us during the late morning hours, but for most of the night he was staying in the co-sleeper, right next to my side of the bed.

I think Kyle was about 3 months old when I put him to bed in his room for the first time.  I was trying to do naps in his crib before that, but those were not super successful.  But...ever since the first night he went to sleep in his room, he's been in there ever since!  He would wake up in the early morning around 4 or 5 AM to nurse, and I would bring him into bed with me to nurse and we would fall asleep together there.  We did that for about a month.  After that, he was in his own bed for the whole night (around 4 months old I think).

Over those first few months, I realized that his bedtime was changing!  It was getting earlier and earlier!  At one point he was going to bed around 4:30 or 5:00 PM!  Josh didn't see Kyle for about  a week straight, because he would leave in the morning before Kyle woke up, and he got home from work after Kyle went to bed for the night.  It was crazy!  But the most consistent bedtime from month 4, until now actually (almost month 15) has been 6:00 PM!  I start Kyle's dinner around 5:00 or 5:30 PM, then we do bath, pj's, read a couple of books, we rock while he drinks his milk, I put him in his crib, and he goes right to bed all on his own!

Kyle learned how to put himself to bed at a very early age.  Which I think is a good thing.  :)  People have their own opinions on this subject, but we did decide to let Kyle "cry it out" at bedtime so that he could learn to put himself to sleep.  The very first time we did it he only cried for 30 minutes, and was out like a light!  The longest he had ever cried it out at night before bed was 30 minutes (which is not bad at all, compared to some!).  The doctor had recommended that we do this, because Kyle was waking a lot during the night, and the doctor said that this was because I was nursing Kyle to bed every night.  He would then wake up in the night and think, "Hey, when I fell asleep I had my mommy and a boob, where is my boob?  I have to have it to fall back asleep!"  So, I was having to get up several times every night to nurse him back to sleep.  He didn't want daddy at all, he wanted to nurse with his mommy!  The doctor said that he was old enough that he could sleep through the night without nursing (I think he was around 6 months old)...that he had simply gotten into the habit of nursing to fall sleep!

For us, this advice was a blessing!  We let Kyle learn how to fall asleep without mommy (and her boob), and it has created the most peaceful night time in our house!  Kyle still goes to bed around 6:00PM (sometimes 7 PM), and will sleep through the night until about 7:00 or 8:00 AM.  He never sleeps less than 12 hours, and often sleeps 13 hours at night.  Kyle never fusses, cries, or fights us at night time, he loves his routine, and he loves his sleep!  Am I a lucky mom or what?!!!

We have finally moved into taking one nap a day.  This started about a week or so ago.  Now Kyle goes down (almost like clockwork, and with no fussing, which is amazing!!!) at 10:00 AM for his nap, and sleeps for 2 or 3 hours.  We have a nice sleep routine in our house, and I feel so lucky!

It has been hard on Josh and I this last year, as far as the social life goes.  We pretty much miss out on any activities that happen after 6:00 PM (unless we have Grandma Buchanan or Grandpa Hayes come while Kyle is sleeping, so we can go out).  We decided that it's more peaceful for everyone if we just let Kyle go to bed when he wants to...which happens to be around 6:00 PM.  If we keep him up late, he is just fussy, so it doesn't make for a pleasant experience for any of us. We'd rather have everyone get a good nights sleep, than try to force him to stay up late at night.  I've also noticed that if we keep him up late, he night wakes more, wakes up earlier in the morning, and takes horrible naps the next day.  It takes us 2 or 3 days to get back into rhythm.  It's just not worth it to me.  So, we stick to our routine, and it works pretty well for our family!  :)  Josh and I figure we can sacrifice a little bit by staying in at night, if it promotes healthy sleep and a happy baby.  Perhaps if we had known to start bedtime earlier, we wouldn't have been up until 1:00 AM for so many nights, who knows!  Something to try with the next one... :)

If you read my earlier entries, you probably read about our first overnight without Kyle.  Kyle is getting old enough now that he is doing okay with Grandma B. doing his routines in place of mommy.  This is starting to give Josh and I a little more freedom, which is nice!

Finding that "perfect" sleep routine was definitely a process, and there was a huge learning curve on our part, and some sacrifice involved...but we finally got there!

Even if you don't have a fussy sleeper, I do recommend the book, it has lots of tips to help establish good sleep routines and much more.  Maybe it's not for everybody, but it worked for us!  :)

Sweet Dreams!